i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize