it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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