On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize