You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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