Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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