I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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