I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
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Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
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I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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