I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
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Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
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Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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