So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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