remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
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