Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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