i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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