we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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