My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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