Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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