WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
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lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
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The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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