I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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