Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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