yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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