last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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