some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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