youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize