I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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