So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
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ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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