yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize