You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize