If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
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I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
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Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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