he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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