3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize