her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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