we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize