in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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