Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize