how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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