I'm so fucking centered right now
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize