Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize