I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize