i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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