If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize