I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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