I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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