Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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