I seem to have left my pride at pride
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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