Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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