Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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