Four minutes until I can fart!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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