dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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