If that was your dad, he is hot
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
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He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
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He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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