mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize