We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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